


Trust

by miroh (lesbianjisung)



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Character Death, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Moving On, References to Depression, minsung - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-23
Updated: 2019-10-31
Packaged: 2020-12-28 21:03:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21143168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianjisung/pseuds/miroh
Summary: Jisung promises to return soon. It's his first broken promise.





	1. Chapter 1

When Jisung left for the States, he promised he’d only be gone for a semester. One semester of study abroad, and then he’d be back home. Jisung has never broken a promise in all their years of knowing each other, and Minho is certain he won’t start now.

Until he gets the call.

“Hey, Min.” Minho can instantly tell something’s wrong. Jisung’s voice sounds strained, almost like he’s holding back tears.

“Jisung,” Minho starts. They only ever use the other’s full name when they need to be serious. “What’s wrong?”

“Fuck,” Jisung mutters on the other line. Minho’s sure he wasn’t supposed to hear it, but Jisung also didn’t try very hard to hide it. “I’m not gonna drag it out, but there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Minho’s heart is racing. Jisung’s voice is so… different from how it normally sounds. He usually sounds so bright, his happiness radiating from him as he spoke. But now, he sounds so gloomy. “You’re dragging it out saying that. Just tell me, I promise I can take it.”

“I’m gonna be here longer than I thought.”

_Oh._ Minho calms down a bit. That’s not… the worst thing he could think of.

“Okay,” he draws out the word as he says it. “How? I thought the scholarship only covered a semester?”

“They offered to extend it for the rest of the school year. They said my grades have been outstanding.”

Something still isn’t adding up. This sounds like good news to Minho, so why does Jisung sound so down?

Minho expresses his doubts to Jisung. “That’s good, right? Why do you sound so sad?”

There’s a pause, and Jisung takes an audible breath. “I just… I promised I’d be back soon, and now I won’t see you until the summer.” Minho can hear shuffling in the background, and then gasps from Jisung as he starts to cry.

“Ji, baby, it’s okay. I wanna see you, but this is a good experience! And if you’re doing so well over there, you probably don’t wanna come back here to your straight C average, yeah?” Minho jokes, trying to reassure the other.

Jisung chuckles, but between the tears and the static of the phone it’s hard to tell how genuine it is. “Yeah, you’re probably right. Sorry, I guess I just worked myself up for nothing.”

“Don’t apologize. I’m happy for you, baby. But it’s getting pretty late over there, right? You should get some rest,” Minho gently responds.

“Will do. Love you.” Jisung’s voice sounds clearer now.

“Love you too, Ji.”

♡

Their roles are reversed on their next call.

“Ji, I miss you so much. And it just gets worse every day,” Minho sobs. It’s only been a couple of days since their last call, and they still text daily, but he feels so lonely. Sure, he’s got other friends, and he loves them all to death, but Jisung is his other half. They’ve never been away from each other for this long before, and Minho just doesn’t know how to handle it.

“I know, Min. I’ll come back soon, I promise.” Jisung’s voice is so steady and firm that Minho has no choice but to believe him. Jisung has only ever broken one promise, and Minho is certain he won’t do it again.

For the next hour, Jisung comforts Minho. He wishes he could hold up as well as Jisung is.

When they’re finally forced to hang up, Jisung reassures Minho one last time. “Min, I love you so much. No matter what happens, I’ll always love you, and I’ll always be there for you.”

Minho thinks he’s being extra sappy today, but chalks it up to him trying to reassure Minho. Jisung’s never been too good at expressing his feelings, but he’s getting better and Minho has learned that Jisung has his own way of expressing himself. “I know, Ji. I love you, too, forever.”

♡

Three and a half weeks later, Minho gets the call. It’s 5:43 am, and his phone blares with the notification of an incoming call. The caller ID tells him it’s Jisung’s mother.

“Minho, I’m so sorry,” she starts. Her voice is completely devoid of any emotion.

Minho blinks away the bleariness, trying to force himself awake. “What? What’s wrong?” 

“Jisung, he…” she trails off.

Minho is instantly awake. “Jisung? What about him? Did something happen?”

“He passed away a few hours ago. They said it was,” she chokes, the first sign of life from her during this conversation. “They told me it was complications from the accident.” Her voice is shaky through the sentence, and the dams finally burst.

Minho’s head is reeling. Accident? What accident? _This is some sick dream,_ Minho thinks. But even as he thinks it, he knows it isn’t true. Somehow, he knows this is real. He feels a void inside him. His other half is gone.

He’s numb. His hand feels weightless as it drops his phone and falls to his side. Distantly, he can hear Jisung’s mother’s sobs, completely heart-wrenching and utterly devastated.

He’s not sure he’s breathing. His mind flashes to every memory he has of Jisung: their playdates as children, their first date when they were in high school, their last phone conversation. He screams.

♡

Over the next few days, Minho learns the truth. At first, it’s hard to cope; Jisung had lied to him so many times, all the while suffering. But his friends and family help him to realize that Jisung had good intentions; he was trying to save Minho the pain of worrying. Still, it’s hard to think about anything besides the fact that Jisung was suffering in silence.

The night Jisung called him to tell him about his extended stay in the States was a few nights after the crash. One of his friends had been driving, it was late, and the other car didn’t have its headlights on. Jisung’s side took the brunt of the force.

Jisung had only told his parents about the accident. They said he probably wouldn’t have even told them if he hadn’t been required to. He’d asked them not to tell his friends back home; the doctors had told him there was a chance he wouldn’t make it, but, up until the last couple weeks, he was sure he’d pull through. He didn’t want to worry anyone.

All Minho can process is how alone Jisung must’ve felt. How he spent the last weeks of his life cheering Minho up over stupid projects and essays. How he was dying, how he _knew_ he was dying, yet he was still more focused on making sure no one worried about him. It tears Minho apart. He pulls at his hair as he cries, deaf to the world around him, numb to the arms holding him steady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while. epilogue next week.


	2. Chapter 2

Ji,

I don’t know why I’m writing this. 

That’s a lie. I’m writing this because the Internet told me to. I read somewhere that writing a letter to you could bring me closure, or something.

It’s been two years, and I’m ready to move on. So I guess this is my final farewell to my first love.

(Sorry, that was cheesy. I’ve been hanging out with Changbin a lot and he’s going through a poetry phase, so…)

Anyways. I’m just gonna write what comes to me, so this isn’t going to make much sense. Not that it really matters. I’m the only one who’s gonna see this letter.

A lot has changed, but I can’t wrap my head around it all. (I guess a lot can happen in a couple years; who knew?) I graduated, got my degree, and moved a couple cities over. I work in a dance studio, and I just found out one of my students is going to be a trainee soon! We’re throwing him a surprise party tomorrow for passing auditions. It should be fun, but if he cries I might have to bail.

I’ve been going to therapy, too. I know you always told me to, but I was (and maybe still am) a stubborn bitch, so I ignored you every time you said it. But I decided to give it a shot a few weeks after _it_ happened. I was at my worst and I could barely get out of bed some days. But therapy helped. And it’s still helping. I’m not as bad anymore. My therapist says I’m actually doing really well! And it just keeps getting better.

I got a cat. I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised. I’m further away from home now than I was in uni so I can’t visit my cats as much. I decided I’d get a new one to fill the feline-shaped hole in my heart. You’d love her. She’s laid-back and loves cuddling, but also really loves playing with those dumb cat toys. And she got stuck on top of a cabinet the other day. I still don’t know how she got up there but I got home and heard her meowing for me. It reminded me of you. Like the time when we were kids and you got stuck trying to climb that tree in your front yard and wouldn’t stop yelling for me until I came outside and found you.

We always talked about how we’d get cats one day. After we were both done with college, and you were a famous music producer and I was a world-class dance instructor. We were gonna move into a nice house and adopt like fifteen cats. I could never tell if you actually wanted a cat or if you just knew how happy it’d make me.

I guess to end this off I should add the most important part… I met someone.

We met on Tinder. Yeah, yeah, dating apps are dangerous. I’ve heard you rant enough about them. But I was lonely. Changbin and Jeongin are the only two I see anymore. Felix moved back to Australia for… something related to his major, I don’t really remember. Chan’s in the US making music. We FaceTime sometimes, and I think he’s doing pretty well. Hyunjin and Seungmin broke up last year, so things were awkward between them and they just drifted away. I miss them, but I can never find the right time to text them. They feel so far away now. Woojin’s a teacher, so he’s always busy. We get together as much as we can, though.

But back to that guy. We haven’t made it official yet, but we’ve been on a couple dates. He’s tall and funny, and he hasn’t judged me for not being totally over you just yet. I really like him.

I guess that’s most of what’s happened. I don’t really wanna talk about last year. I can’t even remember most of it. I was barely living, honestly. But I’m better now, and I think you’d be happy to hear that. I’m at a point where I can say I _know_ you’re happy I’m moving on. So, goodbye Ji. I loved you, and, somewhere, deep down, I will always love you.

Min.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope this part was a bit more positive ! it's all about moving on and healing. kinda fitting, i guess, considering what's happened :(


End file.
